Wednesday, April 1, 2020 10:11 am
By Adeola Agoro
I woke up with a slight headache. It was a relief from the headaches of the past two months.
I suddenly started having these non-ending headaches one day after work. At first, I ignored it because headaches were usual in my kind of work. My office was next door to the printing press, and the machines worked most hours of the day. There was no way the sound wouldn’t get to you.
After a week of me taking all the known painkillers and even being off work so I could sleep well, it seemed the headaches were getting worse. I decided it was time to see a doctor. So, off to the clinic I went.
The doctor who attended to me wasted no time in checking my blood pressure. It was high. I guess that was natural. The pressure from the headaches alone would boil water let alone blood.
He took my blood and urine samples and sent them off to the laboratory for tests. I went back to him as instructed by the lab people.
Then, I took a proper look at him as he talked about the likely causes of the headaches and prepared me for a treatment that might take me off work for about a week. Sitting in front of me was a man who oozed sex appeal. His set of teeth was not only perfect; it was dazzling white. His skin was clear and fresh and he cut the picture of somebody who had never suffered. His speech was smooth and electrifying. I was swept off my feet. His index finger was empty. I heaved a sigh of relief. I momentarily forgot the headaches.
We chatted like old friends and at the end of the visit, we had struck up a kind of friendship. He took my telephone number and promised to call me that same day after his duty. (Call of duty, as doctors say). I was happy. Even if he was this charming and friendly with all of his (female) patients, mine would be different. I knew just what to do.
Greg. That was his name.
I couldn’t think of anything else throughout the day except Greg’s face. Something told me that I was in love.
When his phone call came through, I didn’t allow it to ring more than once before I answered it. It looked like I had waited for it all my life.
He was so sweet on the phone as he asked about my health, how I was feeling and reminded me of the need to come early to the hospital the next day for the results of the tests I took earlier so the treatment would start in earnest. I was melting as I listened to him.
Then, he shocked me when he asked if I had a serious relationship. I wasn’t expecting personal questions so soon. My heart skipped. I had just broken off my engagement to Bankole. I took time to explain to him about my last relationship and how we were just a few months to getting married when I pulled out. He listened patiently.
Then he startled me when he said, “Perfect. I like you. I’ve done my Google search of you after you left. The moment your file was brought to the consulting room, I recognized that name. I’ve always known that name. I’ve followed a lot of your articles. I’ve followed your Facebook posts and we even have some few mutual friends….”
My head was spinning as I listened to him. I had always wanted to remain as anonymous as possible to people outside my family, work place and social media. I preferred to be that unknown person to new people. I liked it that way. It cut off any form of familiarity and lessened the hours spent talking about politics. I was having enough of that in the circles where I was known.
He talked on and on and I wasn’t listening. I was just replaying in my heart all the things I had posted or written recently and trying to see which ones would make him have a funny impression about me.
Then I heard what made me totally speechless.
“… and I know that with your background and exposure, you would be a good wife to a very successful doctor….”
I almost fainted. That was all I heard before the phone dropped from my hand and I lost the call.
The following day, I woke up to see that the headaches had eased. I was feeling on top of the world and then something happened….
I checked my phone and the calendar on the display read 1st of April…
Happy Fools’ Day everyone!
If you want to continue to read this story and see the end of it, sleep for today and ask me about it later.
-Alhaja Adeola Agoro (author, media consultant and owner of Deo Agoz Studio) writes from Abuja