Grace Essen

Grace Essen

“My friends told me that being a mom is a hard work, that it influences both your daily routine and your appearance. I didn’t take these words seriously until I had my kids. As a 43 years old single mother, my children are the only thing that makes my life happy. So I practically poured my time and energy into taking care of them, I never paid much attention to myself, I didn’t care much about fashion and beauty, so my appearance was never my big concern. But when my mum told me that I look much older than she, I decided to reanalyze my life. At first, I tried to defend myself justifying that my children take all my energy and time, so all this makeup, skin care, nail fixing and spa stuff are simply not for me. I thought that if my husband left me, men and appearance mean nothing in my life anymore. Kids are everything to me now. Why should I care how I look?”

“My colleague at work told me time and time again that I appeared like I wasn’t taking good care of myself. I didn’t believe a single word she was telling me until one day I took a good look at the mirror and saw who I had become. I saw a desperately tired woman with dark circles under eyes, wrinkles, darkened complexion… and looking like I badly needed self care. I wondered how come it took so long for me to notice! At that moment, I suddenly understood what my friend was saying; I thought she was being nosy but now I see she cared. But I wondered why no one in my family noticed!”

It’s all too familiar seeing women going about in what looks like quick pony or better put, pig tails, no makeup, tiny jewelry, and ill fitting outfits. The very convenient excuse is, “I am a mom, why should I care how I look?” The first two paragraphs captures life experiences of two moms who like most moms give all their time and energy to their kids and other stuff that demand our attention, at the end of the day, we have no time left to care for ourselves.

There are at least three reasons why I think we should care about how we look. First, charity they say begins at home. Many of us think that once we are married, we are married, so we no longer try to keep up the fabulous look – the stress is just too much and we just couldn’t be bothered. This is a huge mistake. We often encourage infidelity in our men when we neglect ourselves, and we don’t even realize that. Our spouse is one reason we should look good! The second reason is our children. We want them to be proud of us, especially when they are with their friends. I heard about a mom who went to visit her daughter in a boarding school, the girl refused to come out and meet her. After waiting endlessly, she dropped the items she brought with her daughter’s friends and left.

The girl’s reason was that her mother’s appearance embarrasses her. Also, by staying beautiful, healthy and fit we are telling our kids do the same. Thirdly, we live in a society where appearance is a big deal. Your appearance tells much more about you (and faster too) than your words can. If you want to advance in your career or business or even get a job, want to make a good impression all the time because you never know when or where the next big deal or ‘open door’ may meet you.

Not many of us are experienced in skincare or makeup or nails or lashes and all of that, so we randomly buy beauty products: different face washes, anti-wrinkle and nourishing creams, serums, primers, moisturizers, lipsticks etc. some of them the wrong products for our skin type. Most times we use them wrongly, only once in a while, or we never get to use them at all. We all want to look good no doubt. But it takes some effort. It all starts with showing a little bit of care – that you care about yourself, and then you take needed action. Get to know more about YOU.

Discover your skin type and get the products what will give you an improved appearance, find out what clothing styles and colors will look good on you and go for them, same goes for hairstyles. Accessorize too. Get some rest when you need it, drink lots of water and eat good food. When you consider that you are worth it, you will do this effortlessly. Think of the likely results – you will receive compliments on your looks, all the bags and wrinkles around your eyes will disappear, and you will look years younger and the more you do this, the more you will feel good about yourself. Of course, your life will change greatly. People will think differently about you and that will bring many good things your way.

Please share your thoughts. Thank you!

You may reach Grace via email: [email protected]. You can also connect with her on twitter @GraceEssen, on Facebook, and also follow her blog @Mum2MumAfrica.com.