Grace Essen

By Grace Essen

This write up on the need for today’s parents to raise more balanced and responsible children particularly the males by Queen Aderonke Anu is in my opinion food for thought for anyone who is a parent, hence my decision to share. Here it goes:

“Most of you parents who have your daughters living and working in Abuja, should please pay them a visit, and when you do, don’t be surprised that your daughters have some irresponsible guy living with them. He doesn’t do anything, doesn’t have a job, and doesn’t have any source of income.

While your daughter leaves for work, he stays back and sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps. When he finally wakes up, he sits down watching DSTV that your daughter struggles to pay for every month, and then calls some other loafers like himself all day on phone, and yes before I forget, he also spends so much time on the Blackberry your daughter was forced to buy for him because he is always complaining that he is not able to reach her on the Blackberry messenger like other guys reach their women.

When your daughter comes back after so much stress at work, she still brings him a take away from an eatery, and that is not to say he doesn’t complain sometimes about the quality of the meal.

What exactly does he do for her? Well I believe he has sex with her which he calls love making, and keeps her from falling apart, and going crazy over the fact that she’s not married, not knowing that the reason why she is not married is because of this loser in her life.

Unfortunately such losers are quick to bring such girlfriends to their families to introduce them to the dysfunctional set up that they have originated from, and for his family, that is the only achievement that their son has made in life. And so his Mother gets close to their soon to be daughter in-law, (GOD FORBID) always calling her, to find out how she is doing, telling her that she knows her son is a handful, and also has a temper, but that she will have to be patient with him. This dysfunctional mother will also say that her own husband was worse than her son, and if she can handle her husband, so also can she. And so parents who are reading this should note that that is the bondage their daughter is in. She has been kidnapped by her own will….

Fathers, you have a lot to do with the state of men today. You left your wives to take care and bring up your sons. You should have known that when mothers wean children, it is your job to nurture, and not the work of your wives. It’s the work of fathers to give their sons and even daughters identity.

Fathers it’s your role to make your sons find their Value, Purpose and Place in life. Your wives were told by their own mothers that a Man is a King, and even a god who should be treated with respect and awe, and so when you left them alone to bring up your children, while they were equipped to bring up your daughters well, and prepare them for life situations, by teaching them how to talk, how to walk, how to sit, how to dress up, how to negotiate in the market place, how to turn ingredients to meals, how to buy and sell, how to keep a home tidy, how to manage time, how to multi task etc, when it came to their sons, they knew little about what to do with them except treat them like kings and gods that they were told they are, and so gave them an identity without skills to defend it.

So when they told the girls to sit down well, the boys were allowed to sit down anyhow. While the ladies were taught how to tidy up, when it comes to the rooms of the boys that looks like the den of a madman, the mothers will always make excuses for their sons saying leave them alone, boys will be boys, then she will go about his room and pick up his dirty pants and socks and shirts etc and wash them by herself.

When the mothers prepared their daughters for marriage and how to treat their husbands, the fathers were never there to let the boys at an early age know about how to treat a lady, why it’s not good for them to be alone, and why they will at a point in their lives, need a helpmeet for themselves so they can get down the blessings that comes from God as a witness to marriage and expand on all sides. Without these preparations, our sons don’t have an idea why they even need to get married. So most of them are looking for their mothers all over again in their wives and girlfriends, not someone to partner with and conquer the world while achieving purpose.”

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