Natasha and Akpabio

By Nehru Odeh

Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan has taken her fight with the Senate President, Godswill Akpabio, a notch higher by tendering a satirical letter of apology to him through which she took him to the cleaners.

“Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections,” she said.

In that letter, which she shared on her official Facebook page late Sunday, Natasha adopted a tone heavy with sarcasm and apologised for what she described as the “grievous crime” of maintaining dignity and self-respect in Akpabio’s presence.

Recall that Natasha has been embroiled in a running battle with Akpabio over sexual harassment allegations and other issues related to compliance with rules and regulations in the Red Chambers, which earned her a controversial six-month suspension.

“It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence.

“I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognise that legislative success in certain quarters is not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance, of the very personal kind.

She then suggested that legislative success in some quarters appeared to be tied to personal compliance rather than merit, and mocked the idea that her refusal to entertain alleged advances constituted a disruption to an established order.

The senator further ridiculed what she portrayed as an inflated sense of entitlement among some male politicians, implying that competence and electoral victory were secondary to personal submission.

She also affirmed her continued resistance to such pressures, describing herself as “unafraid, unbought, and unbroken”

It will be recalled that Natasha had, in February, alleged that Akpabio had made sexual advances toward her in his office and residence in Akwa Ibom State.

She further claimed that her refusal to comply led to deliberate efforts to obstruct her attempts to raise motions on the Ajaokuta Steel Company in Kogi State.

However, Akpabio denied the allegations and insisted that he had never harassed any woman.

He described himself as a strong advocate for women’s rights, citing his reputation as a gender-friendly governor during his tenure.

The letter reads, “SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER.

“From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan

“Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,

“It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognise that legislative success in certain quarters is not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance, of the very personal kind.

“How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… ‘requests’ was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologise for prioritising competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.

“I now realise the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

“Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.

“I remain,

Yours in eternal resistance,

Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan

Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken.”