Sunday, August 9, 2020 11:26 am
By Marvellous Oluwakoya
The grass was wet from the previous rain early that evening. I sat up and cleaned my face clear of every form of tears and got up to pull my skirt down. It was skimpy anyways. I looked around for my hand bag and found it lying nearby, it’s content scattered. “Thank he didn’t steal it” was what was on my mind. What would I have told mommy?
Yes what would I have told her?
Of course, I can’t ever tell her that I just lost my virginity coming from my friend’s house on the ground beside Mama Bisi’s bread shop. I can’t tell my mom that I was raped. I can’t tell anyone. This secret has to die with me. It was all my fault anyways.
If I had listened and stopped walking late at night, especially late at night in skimpy clothes, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. *”It was my fault and I would bear responsibility till I die”*. Mary thought as she tried some more to keep herself from crying all over again.
Mary could have been right in her thoughts, but is rape all her fault?
Now is not the time to go into that debate.
However, certain things should be known.
* Rapist can’t go into extinction.
* Not all males are rapists.
* Rape isn’t the fault of the lady no matter what or no matter the cause the abuser gives
* The person being raped is *always* the victim.
However, the rest of the fact list does nothing to assuage the first on the list, so do ladies keep being victims and crying out loud for help or vengeance after the feed has been done? NO.
The old adage that says “Prevention is better than cure” is still the best solution or way out here.
Since nobody tattooes rapists on their skin, it would be absolutely great if ladies can perform the following precautions, the first of which is decent dressing. Decent dressing goes a long way in covering up body parts that turn on potential rapists.
Avoid waking in solitary areas; It would be very difficult for one or even two-man rapists to rape a group of five or above except with weapons and even then, there’s still a great chance of getting help.
Relationship with Strangers. It is not advisable to trust someone you see every day but do not know, how much more strangers? Ladies should avoid discussions with strangers or moving with them especially in closed areas.
Women should do all they can to avoid being victims of such a situation including going for prayers conducted by untrustworthy pastors.