By Grace Essen.
The choice of ‘his’ in the title of this write up is not in any way suggesting that it is only a male child who would kill his parents. Although one can easily say that, going by the number of cases we hear of in the news that male children are more likely to, than female children. In the past two editions I have taken a look at moral decadence in children of today and who is to blame, I mentioned cases of children who killed their fathers following a family squabble. Today, I want us to look at it from an entirely different perspective. Let’s look at what reasons that would make a child throw caution or should I say, good morals to the wind, and hack his/her own parent to death.

There was the thirty-five-year-old man, who stabbed his father, a 74 year-old-retiree who was battling with stroke, to death, in Lagos, voluntarily turned himself in to the police according to reports, and has given reasons why he killed his father. Let’s take a look at the reasons, in the very words of the suspect as reported by Punch Metro:

He said, “I am the fourth child in a family of eight children. I have had several fights with my dad in the past. There was a time I confronted him that I had been going through a lot of challenges in life and I needed help, but he said I should sit at home and he would be feeding me. I was angry because he wanted me to be dependent on him and I needed to fend for myself. My parents knew that I smoke hemp and it sometimes affected my behaviour. They asked me to quit it, and I did for some time. People advised them to take me for medical care, but they said they did not have the money.

“I became addicted to hemp about six months ago. On Thursday night, a day preceding the incident, I had gone to a joint where I smoked four wraps of hemp. I bought each for N50. On Friday, around 11am, I was sitting outside the house when I started feeling restless and a spirit told me to go inside and kill my father. I went in through the window and when I got to where he was lying, I stabbed him in the neck and chest. The spirit that pushed me to kill my father began to tell me that I will not have rest until I report myself to the police. When I could no longer bear it, I decided to report to the police. It is not my fault. Whenever I talk to my parents, they always scolded me. And sometimes, I felt they were not my parents. I killed my father because he always chastised me and because I lost control of my senses.”

Residents told the correspondent that the suspect dropped out of primary school and always fomented trouble in the community.

This brings to mind the story of a young woman who according to reports was mentally challenged and so was always kept indoors by her parents. When she had the chance she killed both parents, and her reason was that she didn’t like the way they treated her. Also you would recall that the young man who killed his father sometime last year in the Redemption Camp said he was infuriated by his father’s action when he did not respond to prayers.

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection…”2 Tim 3: 1 -3. The Bible also tells us, “And, ye fathers provoke not your child to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6: 4

We get it wrong when we do not give adequate time, proper training and love to our children, also when we always talk down on them and not give them a chance to be themselves; it leads to bitterness which opens the door to hatred. Over time, they become vengeful and are capable of beating up their parents, walking away from home or even killing them.

I will leave you with some golden thoughts of Thirukkural written by Tiruvalluvar more than 5,000 years ago, but still relevant even in our time of modern education and technology:

If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.
If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.
If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think it’s normal behaviour.
If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right.
If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

Please share your thoughts with me. Thank you!

You may reach Grace on [email protected], follow her on twitter @GraceEssen , also follow her blog www.mum2mumafrica.com.