Moral Decadence in Children and the Blame Game

Moral Decadence in Children and the Blame Game

Friday, October 9, 2015 12:15 pm


Grace Essen: “It is so evident that the issue of moral decadence has gotten to an alarming state, but what is even more alarming is what has become a tradition to us when dealing with serious issues -pointing accusing fingers and playing the blame game instead of coming up with ideas on how best to tackle the problem. Some blame parents, others religion, government, peers, media...”

Grace Essen:
“It is so evident that the issue of moral decadence has gotten to an alarming state, but what is even more alarming is what has become a tradition to us when dealing with serious issues -pointing accusing fingers and playing the blame game instead of coming up with ideas on how best to tackle the problem. Some blame parents, others religion, government, peers, media…”


By Grace Essen.

The story of a man who killed his 74-year old father, removed his heart and left with it following a family squabble has left everyone wondering what kind of heart he has. He murdered the old man with a kitchen knife, removed the heart, covered up the body with a blanket and quietly sneaked out of the house. It was his younger sister who came to the house a few minutes later and found traces of blood in the sitting room, traced the blood to discover their father’s corpse and raised the alarm. It was reported that he had physically attacked the father in the past and had often vowed to kill him. A vow he finally fulfilled.

Well, you might be right to say that is not the worst we have seen or heard of; at least he left his father’s body intact. Unlike the young man who, after killing his father, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria in Redemption Camp last year, chopped up the body, put it in a box and dragged it to a nearby bush. I have often wondered how a child (no matter how old), could look the very man who gave life to him in the eye and snuff life out of him for whatever reasons.

Let’s take a look at some reactions from the public on the story of the man who killed and took away his father’s heart as published by Punch Newspaper of Tuesday, September 22. I have left out the names of the respondents:

“May the old man’s souls rest in peace! This may be directly linked to poor upbringing. Most parents don’t have adequate time for their children any more. They are busy chasing money, thinking that all they need to give their children a befitting life is wealth. Child upbringing is like a computer, garbage-in-garbage-out. Unfortunately, by the time the parents would realise that they have caused their children more harm, it would be too late. In some cases, they realise when they are too old to do anything. Young couples should learn from this: give adequate time to your children while they are still young.”

“I think this is an accident. We cannot attribute it to poverty or poor upbringing. If you claim it is as a result of poor upbringing what about the case of Abdul Mutallab, Michael Adebolajo and Uwais’ son? Were they also poorly brought up? Nelson Omen (the man in question) has serious problems, one of which is addiction. He needs help, which I believe we can give him if he is ready to accept a help. I pray he doesn’t get jungle justice.”

“Poor upbringing has nothing to do with poverty or wealth. It is about the values inculcated into a child. Expose them to care-free lifestyle at early stage, indulge them with money and don’t reprimand them, then you are sure you have children that will turn around to kill you when they grow up.”

“The phrase, poor upbringing, is a function of the financial status of parents. It is an expression that means parents’ failure to teach a child sufficient morals while the child is growing up.”

It is so evident that the issue of moral decadence has gotten to an alarming state, but what is even more alarming is what has become a tradition to us when dealing with serious issues -pointing accusing fingers and playing the blame game instead of coming up with ideas on how best to tackle the problem. Some blame parents, others religion, government, peers, some point accusing fingers at the media while others believe it’s the youth who are responsible for their behaviour or in this case misbehaviour, even ‘poverty’ is not left out as a culprit! Any which way you choose to go, you might be right.

Parents have the responsibility to train their children and teach them compassion, respect, discipline, as well as acceptable dos and don’ts in line with societal values. Therefore, they become responsible for the action or inaction, behavior and attitudes of their children from childhood to maturity. If a child behaves well, we say that child is from a responsible and respectable home, but if they behave otherwise, we are quick to fault the parents for not properly training the child. You must have at one time or the other heard or said to a young person: “Didn’t your parents teach you …?”

Today, unfortunately, parents are abandoning their responsibilities in order to ‘make ends meet’. Take for instance a family, where the father and mother leave for work very early in the morning, even before the children wake up and sometimes or all the time they don’t comeback home till 9pm or even later. The children come back from school and are left to themselves. They do whatever they like, with whoever they like and however they like. Yes, the nanny is there, but what is she going to teach them? Can she give what she doesn’t have?

Let’s continue on this in my next post. Thank you!

Connect with Grace Essen on twitter @GraceEssen, email:[email protected] and follow her [email protected]


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