By Hope Nwawolo
Every day, through life’s journey, a person faces certain issues that either weaken or strengthen him or her. An accumulation of issues that weaken, may bring the person to the point of enough is enough, to preserve the mental balance and good health. Even though the holy book says as much as it is in your power, be at peace with all men, anyone who carries on despite hurtful circumstance, does so with special grace. Moreover, since only two can tangle, there must be an unexplainable emotional agreement that snaps for one of the parties to get to the point of enough is enough.
There is no doubt that even in a religious relationship, there is a kind of moderation to keep one’s sanity in check. In other words, faith and reasoning must go together to have harmony in the relationship and not chaos. Therefore, enough becomes enough at the point one of the parties takes the decision not to accept any longer, actions or behavior that negatively affect his or her mental health. This is demonstrated in different ways depending on those concerned in relationships. For some people, it is a total break from dealing with the other person, directly or indirectly, while to others, it does not mean malice keeping but just staying afar off or aloof in dealing with an impossible personality.
Enough becomes enough when a wife or perhaps a husband decides to resist continuous domestic abuses and takes a walk out of a suffocating union. This does not happen suddenly and might have been going on over a period with the one hoping the issues would be resolved. For those who want to remain married, their enough is enough is demonstrated by what this writer has coined as marital peace on purpose. This is an environment in the house where husband and wife live together without any emotional attachment, giving an impression of unspoken peace in the house (not home).
Enough becomes enough when a person decides he can no longer tolerate obvious disregard from a friend despite the general acceptance by others of the toxic behavior of the friend. Sometimes, people tend to accept the toxicity of a person for as long as possible, with the excuse of ‘’that’s how he is’’. Seriously? Such a person can as well be emotionally deleted from a friend’s life if he is negatively affecting the mental health of the person. As a matter of fact, anyone can validate a negative attitude by claiming that, ‘’it is my nature’’. Such person may have to be ready for an arm’s length relationship when the other person feels enough is enough.
There is no doubt that even in a religious relationship, there is a kind of moderation to keep one’s sanity in check. In other words, faith and reasoning must go together to have harmony in the relationship and not chaos. Therefore, enough becomes enough at the point one of the parties takes the decision not to accept any longer, actions or behavior that negatively affect his or her mental health.
Enough may become enough when a mother-in-law expects her son’s wife to become subservient to the point of losing her self-esteem or personality for the sake of being ‘the good wife’, particularly prior to or immediately after the marriage. Unfortunately, because of the high expectations, a lady may put on the cloak of pretense to win the heart of her soon to be mother-in-law and family members. Immediately after marriage and settling into her husband’s house, she begins to reveal the masquerade behind the veil, when the demands and expectations become suffocating for her to continue bearing. Such mothers forget that the young wife of today will become a mature wife of tomorrow with control of her home and sometimes, her husband.
Enough has become enough with sex for marks in tertiary institutions, with the exposure of some male lecturers who engage in the immoral act. Hopefully, female students no longer have trepidation or palpitation before going to the offices of their male lecturers. This is because of the societal outcry against such men. This has given a level of confidence to the students who are genuinely scared of being victimized. They may very well be with hidden camera or recorder to use as evidence to expose any illicit demand from the lecturers, if there is need to go into their offices. This also applies to male employers who insist on givin employment in exchange for sex. Sadly, once a lady gives in, she may have to continue to pay the unwholesome price unless she declares to herself and hopefully to her predator that enough is enough.In the same vein, some young males have found themselves stuck with rich female employers who also subdue them sexually for a reward of good life. In these situations, there must be the will power and self-contentment to say NO.
In 2020, the Nigerian youths got together to declare enough was enough to brutality with the #endsars protests carried out in many parts of the country. It was unprecedented and showed that their tolerance of police brutality had reached a breaking point. This singular move also revealed that sometimes there are prices to pay on the decision to be free from physical, mental or psychological bondage by a person or system. Needless to mention all that took place throughout the duration of the protests and which individuals, corporate bodies and government are still counting their losses till date. That was a clear demonstration of enough is enough.
Notwithstanding the above scenarios, there may be few instances when enough is not enough. A typical example is the love of parents over their children. No matter how recalcitrant a child may be, the love of the parents, particularly, the mother, hardly gets to the point of enough is enough. Most times, the result of the elasticity of parental tolerance and continuous prayers is the turn-around for good of the black sheep of the family. In all, the desire to achieve peace of mind and mental stability, against all odds, is the yardstick to take the decision or persevere.
Hope Nwawolo, PhD