By Olufunke Cole
The recent trend only both sexes’ attitudinal proportion to transactional sex has provocatively attracted reactions from the general public. I, of course, had playfully slid into it with comical submissiveness. It had appeared like a banger with both sexes casting aspersions on parties or images that favoured their narratives.
Probably, it was to arouse attentions or solve a puzzle remains a focal point. But, I’m more astonished at married men who have joined the league, so, this write-up is going to be intentionally directed at them. Of course and as evident, this narrative has inadvertently penetrated our subscionciousness for few days now. Anyway, I may not be conversant with who started what and how the “skits” emerged but got fascinated by the characters it displayed. It has been a comic relief in the past few days. Well, my disposition should not suggest an endorsement or a dismissal of any part of the sexes’ positions.
My opinion lies inherent within me which cannot be convulsely communicated to the public. That women like money is a gender – biased statement because virtually all beings are guilty of that. Oh, some individuals have been condemning that act condescending most women to such a despicable level of impropriety. Yet, there are men who have have been paying for the ‘labour”. Now, if I may ask, why have they been doing this religiously without complaints or arguments? Invariably, it informs that those men knew that they were thieves who needed to pluck at unmanned farms, else, they could have outrightly done away with such frivolities.
You are a married man whose ambition tends to spread his wings across a bevy of beauties to satisfy an urge but, because you need to assess the avenue to do that justifiably, you automatically submit yourself and deduce a technical extravagant/ lavish expenditure exercise. I may want to ask the men, “what do you intend to offer them if inadvertently they choose not to offer you s*x, or does the basis of your intending relationship with them consolidate the ambience of sexual activities?” What were you expecting to gain from the ladies whom you cannot conveniently introduce as an intimate friend either to families or well wishers. I am trying to process what you mean as a married man when you ask them out for dates knowing fully well that you intend not to marry them. Notwithstanding, women themselves are to be blamed for presenting themselves as an object or commodity that has a price.
Please, let’s avoid muddling up issues so that it can fit snugly. My opinion is not suggestive of accomplice or involvement, and if you have not attained that level of random tickling, refrain from reading this. What anyone does with his/her life should not give you a heartache if he/she does not in any way intersect your plans/path. We like as much as great to drool over other people’s opinion on how they intend to enjoy themselves. Stop glamourising your act as if others are not entitled to glamour. Shift, make I see road before you go on to justify your belligerence, biko. Both the payer and payee are guilty of same crime, don’t nail the other party to the cross. Some men would be very conservant not to part with a dime of their “hard-earned” (they come with such languages) money because they will be quick to convince you that money is not easy to come by, or at other times they spare no thought to remind you that the earthen pot that will relish pepper must feel the heat.
What that convincingly means is up to you, they forget to tell you that such actions create the podium for increasing the sound of the drum for bazaar (transactional sex), like it s being phrased that, there is no smoke without fire. Some actions and reactions could have ignited the fire, undoubtedly! Sweet savoring a story without providing us with sufficient details for rumination will still not make it colourful. You are guilty of making them objectify their bodies for filthy lucre, then, you come crying foul how those bodies have been desecrated. So, like MTN, hello, pay as you go.
-Olufunke Cole is a Doctoral student, Department of History, University of Lagos