A professional funeral crier. Credit: Screwlife.com

The Kumasi Funeral Criers Association (KUFUCA), a body made up of professional and talented criers, has, according to Screwlife.com,come up with a special Christmas package for every family this December. The group asked families that have lost their relatives to get in touch as soon as possible before promo ends. Terms and Conditions, according to the group,apply though.

That notwithstanding, the association has expressed displeasure at the new utility tariffs splashed on Ghanaians by the Public Utility Regulatory Commission (PURC). In view of that, the association has also decided to increase its crying tariffs.

“A lot goes into this job of ours. We spend lots of money to rehearse before the D-day. We have lecturers who lecture us on how to cry and gain proper attention at funerals; and we pay all these people,” the statement indicated.

According to a press statement signed by the President of the association, Madam Awo Yaa Donkoh, the association has for the past five years maintained its crying rates. This, according to the statement, is not helping the members in any way especially when prices of goods are being increased every day.

“A lot goes into this job of ours. We spend lots of money to rehearse before the D-day. We have lecturers who lecture us on how to cry and gain proper attention at funerals; and we pay all these people,” the statement indicated.

As claimed by Awo Yaa, they are certified criers who offer their services at funerals. “People hire us to cry at the funeral rites of their dead relatives, friends etc. Some even include in their wills that their family members should contact us after their death. The way we beautifully cry move sympathizers to give out more money to the bereaved families. That’s the main reason people contract us.”

ScrewLife.Com got in touch with the President of the association after receiving the press release to find out from her what their work actually entails.

As claimed by Awo Yaa, they are certified criers who offer their services at funerals. “People hire us to cry at the funeral rites of their dead relatives, friends etc. Some even include in their wills that their family members should contact us after their death. The way we beautifully cry move sympathizers to give out more money to the bereaved families. That’s the main reason people contract us,” she added.

Exclusively, Madam Awo Yaa Donkoh gave us the new crying rates which will take effect from January 1, 2016.

Crying with Swagg – GH₵ 3,000

Deep Wailing & Shouting – GH₵ 2,700
Crying & Rolling on the Ground – GH₵ 3,500
Crying & Walking Around Funeral Ground – GH₵ 2,500
Highly Emotional Crying – GH₵ 3,200
Basic Crying – GH₵ 2,000
Crying & Vomiting – GH₵ 4,000
Chipmunk Crying – GH₵ 2,700″

Credit: Chido Onumahon and Screwlife.com