Grace Essen

Grace Essen.

This is the concluding part of the story on the shocking discovery of a mom about her four year old, and also experiences of other parents so we can see just how much we all need to pay closer attention to our children. And like I said in the earlier edition, stories like this are shared not only for us to see how evil the world is, but so that we know what forms they take, and know what to do to protect our children.

The story continues…
“…We stormed his school, and went straight to the principal’s office, where we explained everything to him and even got our son to tell him exactly what he had told us. The principal was quite upset and summoned Aunty Bisi (name changed) to his office immediately. She denied everything, blaming everything my son had said on him having a very active imagination. At this point, my husband was hot with rage, and he began threatening to involve the police. My husband actually brought out his phone and began dialing a number, Aunty Bisi fell on her knees begging and crying, and proceeded to blame the devil. We all stared at her in bewilderment, wondering what on earth would possess a full grown woman to sexually abuse a four-year old boy, a child put in your care, to protect and nurture. We called the police and she was arrested, I quit my job, and became a full time mum. What would be my gain, if I had all the wealth and ended up with a disturbed and abused child?”

Exchanging pleasantries with a couple after church service one Sunday morning, I asked about their teenage children in the boarding school who I supposed should be home on holiday and they almost in a chorus said, “They are no longer in boarding school o!” Surprised, I asked why, and truly I was not ready for what was to come. Both man and wife were full of stories that I struggled to keep up with both of them firing from different angles! Had it been a more convenient setting, I am sure I would have heard much more, but the little I heard left me shaking my head in disbelief as I bade them farewell and walked away.

This couple, very decent and very active in church, like any other serious Christian parents, wanted to give their children the very best, and instead of the usual private and public secondary schools around, they chose a well know Christian school where they were sure their children will be taught discipline and Godly principles, not minding the exorbitant fees and the distance they will have to travel to take them to school, visit and bring them back every term. If anything, they felt they made the right choice and they were at peace with it.

At first everything seemed fine, the children (boy and girl) seemed to be doing fine in school but over time they observed (when they visited) that their son who ordinarily was introverted seemed to have withdrawn even more, and it was so obvious. It took questions upon questions, and of course, a lot of patience before the he opened up. But he first asked his parents not to be angry with him because he did what they told him never to do. When asked what it was, he said he fought. The parents were surprised because he is not the type to engage anybody in a fight and for him to have done that, it must have been a serious matter. They assured him he was forgiven already.

Then he said whenever he and his mates went for a bath in the dormitory, the boys would engage in sexual acts amongst themselves, he usually would just walk away. They tried on several occasions to get him to be part of it, but he wouldn’t. They taunted him but to no avail. Then one day, one of the boys pulled him on his genitals and in anger he pounced on the boy and a fight ensued, and of course things didn’t get any better. He pleaded with his parent to take him away from the school. They said their mouths hung open…in total shock, a well known Christian school?!

In the New Telegraph of Thursday, 13 August, 2015, there was a story about a thirty-year old man who was charged to court for sucking the genitals of a nine-year old. The man was alleged to have lured the child into the toilet of one of the halls in the University of Lagos where he committed the indecent act. Such acts go unnoticed when we (parents and guardians) do not pay attention to our children; remember the victims are usually made to promise never to tell.

So the lesson for us here is to watch our children closely and to take immediate action when we notice sudden changes or funny behavior in them. That means we all need to be ‘present’.

Grace Essen is the author of Successful Working Mom, she speaks and writes about making business, career and motherhood work @ www.Mum2MumAfrica.com. She can be reached on 08023271339 (sms only) or [email protected].