Echoes from Trump’s meeting with African presidents

 

Tunde Asaju

 

I watched with admiration yesterday as videos of selected presidents of some African nations meeting with the first American King, His Highness Donald J Trump emerged. A lot of ungrateful Africans and black people in the diaspora could not hide their disgust and disdain at the patronizing, condescending manner in which the American King addressed the leaders, especially the Liberian president.

These bellicose critics are too blind to see the silver lining in that meeting, the first since America distorted the global concept of democracy. For instance, through that meeting, most Americans have finally realized that Africa is actually NOT a country. A Google search would reinforce this new knowledge.

The second wisdom is that some African rulers could dress as well, if not better than, their American counterparts. I mean, imagine looking at the selected presidents in their zany suits. The not-so-freshly minted Senegalese president even advertised the continent a little further by inviting King Don to come and play golf in Dakar. Wow, a lot of things happen these days without Americans knowing. Like when did Africans emerge from their tree abode to build golf courses for a royal to tee off? They don’t teach those things in American schools, a good reason why His Highness obliterated the Department of Education. Now the King and his acolytes now know that there is a place in Africa where they can play golf. They could even do better if they promise the King a golf course like no other – say, one with 48 holes! It would earn them better recognition than those Arabs with their half-dead airplane.

This meeting must have been a teachable moment for the King of America and his teeming supporters. So, let us thank those selected presidents for schooling the King without getting the Zelensky treatment. It should make every black person and people of African descent very proud that America is advancing in its knowledge of geography.

With all the troubles that plague the African continent, it is obviously better off than most Americans. I mean, come to think of it, this week alone, King Don’s supporters have changed the way people fish or classify fish. Until now, fishes had limited boundaries, and we are not talking about ones in aquariums. We were told that there is salt water and other types of fishes and that they sometimes swim several nautical miles with scant respect for littoral boundaries.

Not in America, where the King recently warned its Canadian neighbours to stop kidnapping American fishes that sometimes stray into its waters or face, perhaps floating sanctions! Yes, you heard right. You see, in the past, America did not see any reason to make passports for its fishes swimming either near borders or within international waters. That gave rise to a situation where hungry Canadians throw their hooks into the waters bating fishes with clear American citizenship.

King Trump is going to change that, since the stubborn Canadians would not accept the pleasurable suggestion of becoming the 51st State, instead saying they are the First State. Thieving Canadian anglers obviously look left, right and centre to ensure that American Coastguards are not watching before throwing their catch into their coolers. That must be an offence punishable with more trade sanctions, as if Canada has not offended America enough.

With the timely royal warning from the south, it is sure as four seasons that American Immigration Officials are now working hard to ensure that every American fish entering Canadian waters copiously display their stars and stripe passports so that no Canadian angler or trawler makes the lethal mistake of catching fishes the waters of the land of the free and the home of the brave. Under America First, Canada must ensure that the fish on its plates or grill bear distinctive Canadian national colours.

It is sad that since America elected a King, Canadians have been causing him nothing but unprecedented ennui. This must have happened since Justin Trudeau made the undiplomatic faux pas of backbiting the King during his 44th Coronation reign.

Now, six Republican lawmakers have sent a warning to Canada’s Ambassador to Washington asking him to tell his country to contain the smoke coming from Canadian wildfires within its borders. They do not want Canadian wildfire smoke crossing the borders to Wisconsin and Minnesota, two of the states that share boundaries with Canada’s provinces.

According to these maggots (plural for MAGA), it is within the Ambassador’s purview to contain Canadian smoke within Canada. America puts its own wildfire smokes on the leash, and if Canada does not know this technology, it could pay for the Americans to teach them. Prime Minister Marc Carney should talk to his Royal Air Force officials to rein in Canadian smoke, be they from chimneys, cigar pipes or bushfires. Succinctly, Canadian smoke should carry Canadian passport and apply for visa to blow across American airspace or risk being shut down at costs to the Canadians. This is the new diplomacy.

Until the return of 44 and 47, people believed that air is free. But then, who had expected Liberia, a country that does not feature in the map of North America could produce a president whose English beats that of members of the Trump White House. In fact, who knew that they spoke or studied English in Liberia? We all thought that the language they speak in Monrovia is Monrovian.

Thanks to the American King for expanding the global scope of knowledge with his wisdom and endorsement. In these days when every child in Africa would have longed to go to America to study, they should know that they have better chances studying in Monrovia than Harvard. And with lady luck on their side and the endorsement of President Joseph Boakai, they could even end up as interns in the White House.

Stop winning dear black race and accept this new endorsement that you are not equal to, but better than those who call the shots at Trump’s White House. Now, that is something to cheer in these days of war and strive.

A News picture of the White House visit – some Africans wear their suits better than members of the Trump White House