By Tolu Meduna
When you are in the depths, and I mean at the deepest bottom of life, you do yourself a favor by only glancing up to see the direction you are going to crawl out.
This is because the moment you look to see how shallow you are, you might never be able to come out; you will be overwhelmed to get out, anxiety and fear will grip you, self-pity will keep you down. Take it from a person who knows what rock bottom means.
The secret to happiness is not to look at how far down you are but to map out the direction you are to crawl out from. And the hope of newness to come should keep you motivated.
When I had my daughter about 20 years ago, my relationship was over, and I was alone. From the hospital, I took her to the basement apartment (size: 10ft by 4ft) I had rented. Ungated and beyond the gully, it was an erosion-affected area. Those who lived around there thought I must be an alien to have the audacity to live under such conditions with a baby. And this is because I made up my mind not to be a burden on anyone, not even my mother. That was my only viable choice, and I took it. For the first time, I loved someone else more than myself.
Despite experiencing many lows at the gully, I had no time to admit how horrible the situation was; I was busy mapping out my way out of the gully. I did not summon the guts to look how shallow I was; of what use would that be? I motivated myself. I lived there until she was four months old before moving to a better place.
Yesterday, the 19th of March, I summoned the gut to look back down the gully (mental picture of the area) and cried. Oh, I cried because now I am out, I need no motivation to keep my head up in the shallow, I survived. I cried tears of joy because I am no longer trying to map my way out.
Profusely, I cried tears of joy; my success story crawling out of that deep is complete. Today, I celebrate with so much joy and happiness!
And now, here’s wishing everyone an International Day of Happiness!
May you find happiness, whenever and wherever! With love.
*Tolu Meduna
Public Engagement Officer
Founder: Meduna Emotional Support Initiative