A friend reminded me of this folklore that the elders in our part of Nigeria would tell us after we would have consumed at dinner time, meals of pounded yam, efo riro (stewed vegetable) ably supported by smoked bush meat, garnished with locust beans and mushrooms. All organic if I may add.
In a particular village, there was a Mosquito called “Mr. Mosquito or MM” by the residents. MM was rich, friendly, outgoing, well dressed and was equipped with excellent communication skills too. At the time, MM who was loved by the residents of the village, did not trouble humans. MM was invited to every major function of the residents: christenings, weddings, burial ceremonies etc and each time, would be seated as a special guest. All these got to MM’s head and started carrying itself with pride.
One day, MM told its friends including millipede, cockroach, ant, and termite that it wanted to make a human being its wife. Of course, the friends laughed but advised that MM should not pursue the idea. “You will just make a fool of yourself”. Said the cockroach.
Sometimes, we hurt others and cause them pain not because of what we say but how we say it. One of the cardinal rules in communication is to express ourselves without condemnation, name calling or negative criticism. Deviation from this rule has caused many relationships to break
MM was however determined to put his friends to shame. There was a beautiful young lady named Bintu in the village. MM saw her as the lady of its dreams and would want them to spend the rest of their lives together in love.
So on this particular day, MM groomed its wings, powdered its face, sucked some nectar from some flowers for strength and thereafter proceeded to find Bintu. As luck would have it, Bintu was resting under a mango tree after hawking cashews nuts for her mom.
“Hello beautiful ”
“Hello Mr. Mosquito”
“For you, no need to call me a Mr.”
“Won’t you ask why I gave you that privilege?”
“Because you are beautiful, and I want to marry you”
“You must be joking.”
“I am serious.”
“Then the answer is a no”
“I am shocked.”
“Don’t be. I have my reasons.”
“They better be good reasons.”
“They are. You are lean, not muscular, no six pack and you look like you are going to die tomorrow. ”
“Haaaaa! You hurt my feelings badly. Do you think you are better than me because you are a human being?”
“Of course, I am better than you.”
“You are not.”
“Yes, I am…”
MM’s ego was understandably very crushed. Consequently, it vowed to remind humankind that it could live as long as they do, its tiny and skeletal physique notwithstanding. Hence till today, MM flies around humans’ ears with annoying sound, reminding humans that it is alive and well, and not at risk of extinction.
Sometimes, we hurt others and cause them pain not because of what we say but how we say it. One of the cardinal rules in communication is to express ourselves without condemnation, name calling or negative criticism. Deviation from this rule has caused many relationships to break.
There are many of us too, who, either at work, social events, home, in politics and many more, refuse to recognize and accept our realities that may include superiority of others, defeat by others, etc. Rather, we justify our egotism through unnecessary noise, unwarranted outburst, name calling etc directed at innocent third parties that have no hands in our situation(s) thereby making life unbearable for them and causing them ill health.
Johnson Babalola is a Canadian immigration lawyer, writer, storyteller, and story-based management trainer. Follow him on IG @jbdlaw; FB: https://www.facebook.com/jbdlaw and www.johnsonbabalola.com/www.tpmattorneys.com