By Hope Nwawolo
The family as the primary social unit in the society, plays a critical role in shaping the lives of its members. At the same time, the dynamics of a family relationship can have a profound impact on the emotional, psychological and physical well-being of its members.
The elasticity of family bond is the ability of siblings to sustain their connection, support and understanding, regardless of the challenges and changes that inevitably occur as they grow up. This is when the elasticity is essential to keeping the family unit strong and adaptable to the changing needs and circumstances of all its members. The strength of this bond vary from family to family and can change over time. However, despite unforeseen changes, if every care is taken, the family will remain healthy and ensure a relationship that would withstand the varied problems and pressures that can affect its members.
One of the key factors that determines the elasticity of family bond is communication. Effective communication which should be open, honest and respectful, is essential to building understanding, empathy and trust between family members. By maintaining open lines of communication, family members can share their problems, and opinions, while working together to find solutions that benefit every member of the family. This type of communication, helps to prevent misunderstanding and conflicts that usually strain family relationships as the years go by.
Ensuring flexibility of mind set is essential to sustain the elasticity of family bond. As members of the family grow, they would exhibit different personality changes. Each of them must therefore be willing to accept and adapt to the new changes and uniqueness of the other members.
Another critical factor that determines the elasticity of family bond is the emotional support exhibited by the individuals. Each family member needs to feel that he or she can count on the others for emotional support in times of crises. A simple act as giving a listening ear or a shoulder to cry upon, can go a long way to soothe the nerves or broken emotion of the affected member. In the same vein, when a family member is going through a difficult time, the rest of the family can provide encouragement and help to create a sense of belonging and togetherness. Emotional support helps to alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression, which can cause not only physical separation, but emotional distance too. This can also prevent suicidal tendencies.
Family shared values and experiences also play vital roles in the elasticity of family bond. These help to define the family’s identity. In the same way, family traditions, holidays and ideologies, go a long way to reinforce the values and create a sense of unity and shared experiences. When family members participate in these activities, they creates memories that strengthen the emotional attachment between them, which can last a lifetime.
Undoubtedly, great effort is needed to sustain the elasticity of family bond as each member marries and begins a new family. This is the ultimate in any family expectations; generational expansion. However, it can also be challenging if care is not taken as it sometimes creates unnecessary tensions within sibling relationships. It is therefore crucial to put in effort to nurture and sustain the elasticity of family bond particularly after marriage. As a matter of fact, there should be individual intention that the growth of one family unit into several units is something to be celebrated and sustained, without the new members of the family feeling jealous orostracized. The new members should also be encouraged to genuinely integrate into their new larger families. This is a natural circle that should be treasured.
It has been observed that some young couples suddenly change their family names to the first name of the man of the house or take up a compound surname made up with the addition of theman’s first name for the children to use. Unfortunately, sometimes, the wife is accused as the person initiating this change to differentiate their unique family, even when she is innocent about it. At the same time, even if this is suggested by the wife, it can be discussed and subtly discouraged to allow for the expansion of the family to continue in unity and harmony.
To encourage continuity, it is essential to acknowledge that each person in the family will have a different life after marriage vis a vis, unique goals, careers, and family structures. It is important to respect these differences as long as they do not have any direct adverse effect on any of the siblings. In other words, everyone should respect each other’s boundaries, while communicating any concern in an understanding manner.
Conclusively, siblings’ love is fundamental to maintaining the elasticity of their bond as a family. As each of them marry, it is crucial to be intentional in nurturing the bond through regular communication, time together, shared experiences and avoidance of negative behavior that could break the bond.
Hope Nwawolo, PhD