By Grace Essen
It is becoming the norm these days for most parents to leave for work very early in the morning before the kids wake up in the morning, only to get back late at night after the kids had gone to bed. You might have found yourself in such situation like I did, if you are lucky not to be in this category, maybe your neighbor or someone you know does. The question that comes to mind is when parents are absent who parents the kids?
I have been bothered about this lately, so I put up a post on my Facebook page, asking what people thought about absentee parenting and who parents the kids in their absence. Here are a few responses I got:
There is no vacuum in life. Definitely the kids will parent themselves. Whether they turn out good or bad is another issue.
Wisdom is the principal thing as the scripture has said, I would advise that they relocate close to their work environment and register their kids at close by school, otherwise the kids may end up raising themselves and that’s too bad. Nannies or relatives will be doing the parenting for them, I used to tell people close to me that is not just by bringing children to the world but by bringing them up in the way of the Lord and we as parent have a lot to do it’s not a day job oo.
Please I think women should go for jobs that will not take all their time. If our kids turn out bad, who will enjoy all the money we are chasing? Parents should be wise when it comes family affairs especially the mother, whom the family revolves around.
In my honest opinion the absentee parents are not only the ones you have described. There are also physically available but otherwise absentee parents. These are the parents who although they are around their children, they don’t spend quality time with them. Technology has become the go-to for children in this generation. Mom and Dad are so tired! Or caught up in life… they give their children gadgets to “occupy” them and “stop bothering me.” Growing up, my parents were like the ones you described. Up before the crack of dawn to make it to their offices on Lagos Island and they returned home as we got into bed at night. Our aunt and uncle were like our surrogates. During weekends however, we spent every minute with our parents. Families are often faced with difficult choices to leave their little ones in the care of another. The ultimate proof of good parenting is really how you plan to spend quality time with your children and family.
It’s actually not easy for especially mothers who work to take care of the children as it’s supposed to be. I for one had to refuse work in other to take care of them and be there for them. I don’t like the idea of house help or another person taking over my responsibility towards my children. Now they are grown, I can venture into anything I want. They are my priority so I had to sacrifice a lot. No regrets.
The world has taken a paradigm shift to a state that both mother and father have to go and thrive towards meeting the family needs, but this should be done in consideration of the children’s comfort, therefore either of the parents should have a job that can give him/her chance to cater for the children before leaving for work, so that they can feel loved also…
What’s your thought?
Grace Essen is a TV host, author, speaker and host of Super Mum Makeover workshop. Check out Grace’s blog @Mum2MumAfrica.com You may reach Grace on 08061367203, or via email: gracessen@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebok, Instagram and Twitter @GraceEssen.