Why are women so good at putting off happiness?

Grace Essen


By Grace Essen

You woke up really excited, it’s your special day. Your husband says good bye as he rushes through the door, he’s running late for work. You can’t believe he didn’t even wish you a happy birthday! Well, maybe he has a surprise for you…throughout the day… no call, no Whatsapp message, no post on Facebook,on his profile is still Arsenal logo …mmmhhh!

He comes home in the evening in a hurry to catch up with the live football match on Super Sports, and screaming all through. And you’re sitting there,boiling and ready to explode.You are so mad you are going to be ‘unhappy’ the rest of the week, maybe month!

That is just one of the many things our husbands do that make us feel bad, also stuffs like dropping dirty socks around the corner instead of the laundry basket, snoring while we stay awake rockingwhining babies who have no plans whatsoever to fall asleep. Then the kids bring a whole new dimension to our frustration…let’s not even talk about in-laws who come ‘visiting’ and never ever want to leave. Everything seems orchestrated to make sure we are NEVER happy.

Our response: We put off our happiness for the time (whenever that is) when everyone will stop being such a pain, and just get their acts together! Little wonder we are often so miserable. I would like to share a piece of advice from a fellow mum,courtesy P31.org:

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.

We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation, or when we retire.

The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with…and remember that time waits for no one. So, stop waiting….

until your car or home is paid off until you get a new car or home until your kids leave the house
until you go back to school until you finish school until you lose 10 lbs. until you gain 10 lbs.
until you get married
until you have kids
until you retire
until summer
until spring
until winter
until fall
until you die
There is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

“…Happiness, sought by many and found by few, is matter entirely within ourselves. Your environment and the everyday happenings of life have absolutely no effect on your happiness except as you permit…Happiness is wholly independent of position, wealth or material possessions. It is a state of mind which we ourselves have the power to control – and that control lies with our thinking.” – Claude Bristol

Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy anyway!

Grace Essen is an author, speaker and host of Super Mum Makeover workshop. Check out Grace’s blog @Mum2MumAfrica.comYou may reach Grace on 08061367203, or via email: gracessen@gmail.com. Follow her on twitter @GraceEssen, find her on Facebook.