Fantastically corrupt: The moat in Cameron’s own eyes

President Buhari

By Bola Bolawole

“We’ve got some leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries coming to Britain. We’ve got Nigeria and Afghanistan, possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world” – David Cameron, British Prime Minister.

“I am not going to be demanding any apology from anybody. What I will be demanding is the return of assets…This is what I am asking for. What will I do with an apology? I need something tangible” – President Muhammadu Buhari.

The above statement by the British leader, Cameron, is the most reckless, most irresponsible, most undiplomatic, and most egregious I have heard any leader, least of all that of a country that prides itself as the doyen of diplomacy, make in many decades. In contrast, Buhari’s response is measured, tempered, appropriate, didactic, and matured. Buhari put the “anybody” called Cameron in his place.

He cleverly avoided the distractions that Cameron wanted to introduce into a very serious matter by irritating and provoking Buhari ahead of the London anti-corruption meeting; and had Buhari swallowed the bait and started blowing his top and running after useless apologies from Cameron, he would have missed the point, even derailed. For the first time in his presidency, Buhari impressed me with his response to the British leader, whom he cleverly took to the cleaners, as it were. Buhari superbly indicted Britain when he said what Nigeria needed from Britain was not any useless and unproductive apology but the return of the country’s stolen assets.

Thank you, Buhari. That statement by you is fully loaded. It is also original and straight from the heart because you were not reading a statement but speaking off-the-cuff, as it were. I know the British understand language; so the import of Buhari’s precise but vicious barbs will not be lost on them. They are receivers of stolen goods at the very least. And our people have a proverb, to wit, that the person who climbs up the scaffolding to steal a keg of palm-oil is not as much as a thief as the collaborator who helps him to safely land it on the floor. Collaborators are important parts, in fact, the anchor leg as in a relay, of any criminal venture.

David Cameron: calls Nigeria fantastically corrupt

They are accessories after the fact of the crime concerned. Britain ought to know that Nigerians are not ignorant of their contributions to the myriad problems that this country faces today, not least of all, corruption. Cameron is young; so his sense of history may be limited. The elder Queen, probably for her age and also since the monarchy is the custodian of British history, knew more than the Prime Minister. Hence she kept mute when Cameron made his gaffe. Certainly the Queen must have been miffed. I will not be surprised if she thereafter scolded or expressed her reservations to Cameron behind closed doors.

It is important to let the young British ruler know that Nigerians hold his country responsible for the skewed “federalism” that was foisted on us in 1960, and which has survived till this day. Not only that, many Nigerians still regret the amalgamation of 1914 and the kind of leadership imposed on Nigerians at Independence. Nigerians are aware that the intractable problems that we have had with our national census was the handiwork of Britain in its determined effort to ensure the Northern domination of the Southern part of the country. Nigeria is the only country in the world where desert areas are more heavily-populated than the forest areas. The British favoured Northern leaders to take over the reins of government from them at Independence; when the North said it was not ready for Independence whereas the South was ready, the British delayed the South until the North was ready.

Buhari’s response is measured, tempered, appropriate, didactic, and matured. Buhari put the “anybody” called Cameron in his place. He cleverly avoided the distractions that Cameron wanted to introduce into a very serious matter by irritating and provoking Buhari ahead of the London anti-corruption meeting; and had Buhari swallowed the bait and started blowing his top and running after useless apologies from Cameron, he would have missed the point, even derailed.

Till today, many Nigerians believe that the same shenanigans instituted by Britain subsist, where the South is not allowed to proceed and develop at its own pace. Elections were rigged by the departing British in favour of Northern leaders favourable to their disposition. Till today, we continue to wrestle with the gnomes and demons of election-rigging that the Britain unleashed on this country. This is not to talk of the wars fought by the Britain against nationalities in the space that later came to be christened as Nigeria. Various kingdoms and peoples were destroyed. Civilisations were ruined, millions of able-bodied men and women were taken into slavery; our cultural artefacts were plundered and are, till this day, in many locations in Britain; and our resources were appropriated for the benefit of the colonial master.

Grievous as these were, those were then; now, Britain is a major receiver of stolen goods from Nigeria. Many of the idyllic islands which are part of the British Empire are safe havens for looters all over the world. Evidence abounds also that when corrupt leaders steal here, Britain is one of the destinations they head to, to launder their ill-gotten wealth. Ibori, Alamesieyegha, Dariye, Audu, Deizani, mention them. Britain cannot deny that it is not in custody of billions of dollars of stolen wealth from this country. In addition, their businessmen and women come here and take advantage of the system and corruptly enrich themselves.

They bribe and cheat – all in the effort to compromise the system and siphon our wealth to enrich themselves. These are certainly not the kind of people to thumb their long noses at us. They are as corrupt as we are; perhaps, even more so! The best that Cameron can do is to be sober; reflect deeply and appropriately and begin to do the needful; which is cooperating fully with Nigeria to return every penny stolen from Nigeria. They should also retrieve from their various locations and repatriate to Nigeria all our stolen artefacts and cultural patrimony. In addition: Buhari may not have demanded an apology, but that is not to say that Nigeria does not deserve one from Cameron and from Britain.

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