Grace Essen
“A woman will never love her man the way she loves her child (she will never love him enough to die for him). This doesn’t mean all women are evil. It just means this is the normal state of things, and thinking otherwise leads us to make the wrong decision.”
“It feels great to have a woman love you and hold you and have you be her protector. There is no disputing that. But understand that women really live in a fantasy world.”
“Don’t fall into the semantic fallacy of confusing everything ever referred to as “love” as being the same … words have more than one meaning.”
The statements you just read were made by three different men in response to the issue of women and love. Now let’s see how some women have defined the word ‘love’:
“What a loaded question! I can’t help but instantly think of the 1st Corinthians Bible verse. It just gives such an amazingly perfect definition of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). When I think of what love means to me personally, though, I think of all the different types of love I have for the people in my life. There’s romantic love, family love, friend love and the most incredible love of all: soul mate love. I knew my fiancé was ‘the one’ when I realized he is the only person in the world that I love romantically, as my family and as my best friend. Our love is easy! Love should never be difficult. Life is difficult enough.”
“Love is caring for someone else deeply and unconditionally. Love is being motivated to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be because you are so passionate about the other person.”
“To me, love means finding someone that brings out the best version of yourself and challenges you to be better. Someone who you are completely comfortable with and who knows you inside and out. Someone who is truly your partner and best friend and that you can share all your experiences with.”
“Love means knowing that no matter what, you have someone to count on. It’s unconditional and makes you feel good on the inside. You can trust the person you love and are comfortable around them. It’s like your heart tells you that it is good for you. Love never hurts or makes you cry your eyes out. It’s very gentle and warm. You never give up on the people you love.”
“To me, true love is when you can completely be yourself around another person in good times and bad. It’s loving each other’s differences and appreciating them exactly as they are. Love is the feeling that something is missing when you are apart and the realization that everything seems so much better when you are together.”
“Love… I believe this word gets tossed around more than it should. It’s more than just a simple word and can have a lot of meanings. Just to name a few: trust, commitment, best friends, communication, willingness, arguments and tenderness.”
Everyone has need for love. However it appears women tend to show this desire more than the men folk. A woman would ask her man, “Do you still love me?” and the man is surprised and maybe irritated (in some instances) and would response with a question, “If I don’t love you, will I do ———— for you?” When a simple, “Yes, I do” would have saved both parties the headache and maybe some heartache!
I guess that is what Gary Chapman addressed in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. The book outlines five ways to express and experience love which he calls “love languages” – gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy). It is only natural to give love in the way we prefer to receive love, but Gary suggests that people should not use the love languages that they like the most but rather the love languages that their loved ones can receive.
Over the weekend, I stumbled on a greeting card I gave my husband years ago. It still looked new, like it was just picked from the store. It was one of my favorites. I read through it, and I smiled. I want to share the words of the card here because it has a list of ‘wants’ I think gives a clue to what love means to a woman:
Top of Form
Bottom of Form
What I Want and Cherish in Our Relationship
I want emotional closeness, I want sharing, I want a beautiful bridge between us that is always there, always open always secure, always ours alone… I want things we do to turn into some of the nicest memories any two people could ever ask for. I want friendship, I want love, I want gentleness, I want strength, I want as much happiness as tomorrow can promise to anyone. And I want the smile that is in my heart to always reflect so beautifully in the eyes I most love to see… You
Ladies, did that speak your mind or what?
You may reach Grace via email: gracessen@gmail.com. You can also follow her on twitter @GraceEssen, on Facebook, and also follow her blog @Mum2MumAfrica.com.